First One, The the Other....

The breezes were cool and the clouds were racing across
the azure sky as if they were racing each other.
The dervish and his kitten were setting by the well
in a small village, sharing a piece of dried fish and some
bread, which held no interest whatsoever for the kitten,
who was focused on the fish.

A troubled looking young man, and a woman with a plump,
happy child came up and sat down near them.
The man looked quite bothered, and finally hung his head
covering his face with his hands. The woman was trying to
be of some solace to him as the child sat next to them.
Spying the kitten the child cried out "kit-eee". The Huntress
left her spot and bounded over to the child, much to his delight.

"This man is a dervish! Ask him!" the woman said to the man
who was her husband. "I cannot bear to see you like this!"
The man sighed and looked up. He regarded the Madman and
said "May I then trouble you with a question, dervish?"

"Of Course." the Madman said.

The mother looked over at the child, who was entwined with
the kitten, "Oh be careful, Toma! She might scratch you."
"She will not harm your son. It is not her way. She knows the limits of
play." the Madman said smiling. "Your question?"

" I have just come to faith after many years as an unbeliever.
My teacher has given me a book of instructions, rubrics if you
will, that I must follow in order to be considered a believer
in good standing with the Beloved. There is so much, prayers,
fasts, lists of what is forbidden and permitted, rules, traditions,
and so much more, that I feel completely overwhelmed.
I cannot do all this, and today he humiliated me by telling me
I was praying wrong, and then he said that humiliation is
a good teacher! I want to just walk away!"

"I hear the unspoken question, sir." the dervish said.
Let me think on it for a bit." Just then there was a merry
"Rawr" and a giggle from the little boy and the kitten.
He was standing and he took two halting steps, before
falling to his backside, laughing.

"Look!" his mother cried "Joseph! Toma has taken his first steps!
He has begun to walk!" She scooped him up and hugged him.
The man smiled.

The mother placed the little one on his feet again and removed
her hands. He looked at the dervish, and grinned.
"Come here child!" the Madman demanded. "Walk to me
now. You have shown that you can take steps. Now do
so! Left, right,left,right,left,right! Now! Quick step, and
twirl about just before you reach me, then bow! Now!
Quick! Quick!" The sound of the dervishes demanding
tone caught the parents off guard. The child took a step
and plopped down, this time he looked scared. "Wrong,
wrong, wrong!" the madman said.

"Just a moment here, dervish!" the man shouted! "How dare you
make such insane demands on him! He has just begun to
walk, taken his first steps and you order him like
a drill master! That is not right and I'll not allow that!"

"Why not?" asked the dervish.

"Because he is young and tender. He is just learning to walk. It will
be a while before he could do any of that! It will come, but in his own
time, and at his own pace. I love him and I will not allow him to
be spoken to in such a stupid and cruel manner. You are a fraud!"

"So, you are telling me, that because your son is new to walking,
and just beginning to take his steps, the truly loving thing
is to support him, guide him and help him as he steps out, and
even more to pick him up and soothe him when he falls. That way he will
be able to someday walk with confidence and ease."

"That is certainly what I am telling you!"

"Then you sir, are a true dervish, a Lover of the One.
Have mercy on those around you who stumble and lurch. God
sees you too are beginning your walking, and His Mercy far
exceeds ours. How could God expect you to perform all
the things demanded of you at this point? No more than I
could expect your son to do all I demanded of him."

There was a bit of quiet. The light of understanding began
to cross the young man's face, like the sky clearing after
a storm.

The young man smiled, and shook the dervish's hand.
"Yes, Yes, I see. I shall maintain my growth and learning!"
at my own pace, and I know I am loved by God!"

"More than I could tell you."

The young family walked away after thanking the Madman.
"Let us finish our fish and be on our way home." he said
to his kitten, who heartily agreed with a 'mew'.

TF (C) 05Sept2010

Who and What Now?

This blog has become the venue for stories, tales, amd ruminations of the Madman, his kitten, The Huntress of Hearts, and other characters who appear from time to time.

The Cast:

The Madman: Is a Sufi, a dervish of a mysterious order. He is a Lover of the One, and is so immersed in his state of communion with the One, that his actions are often strange, and even seemingly mad, but his understanding is the solid underpinning of it all. He is no fool, but he is a Fool.

The Huntress of Hearts: A small, feisty kitten who is the Madman's companion. She is very mysterious, and one can never be quite sure just what or who She is.

The Madman's wife: The lover of the Lover. A voice of reason and depth who challenges the Madman and so hones his understanding. A dervish in her own right.

there will be others........

Monday is just the day after Sunday.

I am feeling pretty good about my writing. Some things have finally clicked and it seems to be really flowing about subjects other than politics. Maybe I should say 'snarkatics' because if one listens to the sundry pundits out there, that is about all you get, nasty, snarky comments. The country is going to hell in a hand basket you say, never mind that, you have to worry that Obama is a secret Muslim. Yeah right.
We as a country are damned close to entertaining ourselves to death. OK, enough of that.

I am just getting back into the routine of writing a blog, so as I get up to speed, please bear with me here.

Time to head to Wal-Mart and acquire some badly needed things for supper. I also feel a real need to write a new poem for my other blog.

Current Reading: Sex, Sin and Zen by Brad Warner
                           Brave New World Revisited by Aldous Huxley
                           Bite Me by Chris Moore

Till next time,
T

Two Blogs!!

I am reviving this blog for my general prose writing, ranting, and other WTF moments in my life. It will be a companion piece to Prismatic Dreams, which is for my 'prosetry". I hope there are things here that will speak to your heart! Thanks T 

Simple and Sooooooooooo Sweet

The last few days have been a treat to myself. One of the best 'meditations,' if you will, that was part of my own training was the treat. It always grounds me and centers me when the world seems to insist on pissing on my feet all the while deperately trying to convince me it is raining.

The "I" is left out of as much as possible. Such as "Putting on glasses, pulling on 'wear', taking meds, shaving, etc." you get the drift. It brings to quick awareness just how often "I" gets in the way of the simplicity, and beauty of the most "mundane" of activities. It also immediately poses the question, "Just WHO is this "I" doing such and so?" without the necessity of a crusty old Zen teacher posing it. What is meant here is that anything and everything is a koan. When is the last time you seriously thought "Just who is it that is wiping this ass?" or "writing this blog?"

This exercise brings reality, and the "isness" of all our acts to life, and speaks softly of the fact that this act, in this place, at this time is the place of enlightenment. It is the only thing that is real.

T

One Cland Happing

"As for enlightenment, that's just for people who can't face reality."
Brad Warner:  Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate, pg.224

Well, that last sentence really woke me up this morning. I would guess that 99% of westerners who come to Zen, or any of the Buddhist schools of thought and practice, have that as their goal. I never have, not because I am lazy, but because it is just plain selfish, in my eyes. If I "get it" and do not immediately give it away, by using what ever the hell the "it" is, to help others in any way I can, then it is just so much spiritual weasel-waxing.

Now, before people feel I have dissed all the wonderful zen teachers out there (even though there are some who could use a kick in the butt, I am sure) allow me to explain. My own "insights", such as they are, showed me my myriad selfishnesses. There were a ton of them, trust me. Well, in showing me those things I clearly saw how my Christian fundamentalist upbringing dovetailed nicely into things. It was all about saving my butt from going to hell (handbasket not included) and going to heaven. It was all transactional salvation. I do X,Y, and Z and I'll get the "promised rewards" of "blessedness". In like manner if I did NOT do the aforementioned things, or committed some "grave" sins, especially involving my genitals, I would be punished in hell. All a transaction with personal (read me, myself and I) the primary concern. So, doing "good" and avoiding "evil" became a matter of utmost personal concern. Selfish, in short.

Likewise, striving for "enlightenment" can be seen as something one does for oneself. You hit the cushions and meditate for personal reasons, for personal benefit. Selfish, in short. Maybe this personal evaluation is harsh, or unfair in some people's eyes.

As Brad Warner says, "Deal with it."

OK, it is human nature to seek to maintain ones life and family. Hell, breathing is selfish when you come down to it. The difference, to me, lies in the accumulation of something not meant to benefit anyone else. The Bodhisattva ideal would be totally foreign to most people who seek to escape reality using ANY vehicle, religious, chemical, or otherwise.

Christians call this kenosis, or emptying ones self for others alone. Bodhisattvas postpone their enlightenment until ALL beings are liberated from the bondage of clinging. Both of these ideas are scary, because looking around us, there is an enormous amount of work to be done...and all that work lies in the real, our daily reality. It is grotty, messy, often violent, and full of pathos as well as times of real joy and bliss. To wish to attain a state where none of this effects you, and to go through life like a cartoon of a "spiritual" being, just floating along, is both selfish and escapist. 

You may disagree, and say I am full of shit. That's cool. Maybe I am. It is no big thing to me. 

I had 16 years of Buddhist practice and history under my belt, when I was taught more about reality, and it's utter capacity for suffering and triumph, than any master, teacher, or scripture ever had before. I was talking to one of my students on the day before his release from our facility. I had helped him through a lot of struggles and issues, and he was ready to go. Here is our dialog.

Me: You've done a helluva job, Will (I'll use that instead of his actual name.)
W: Thanks Mr. F.
Me: Glad I could help ya.
W: (Big, 32 tooth smile)
Me: I've always been curious about one thing, Will.
W: What's that?
(Note: when he was 5, his mother was murdered while holding his hand, during a drug deal gone bad. She had been a prostitute with a nasty drug habit.)
Me: When your mom was shot, you stayed by her, but fought the police when they arrived. Why?
W: That's easy. I couldn't see who they was.
Me: Couldn't see them?
W: Yeah, mama's brains was in my eyes.
Me: Lord....
I looked into his eyes, and they were clear and strong.
He smiled and put it all together for me.
W: Just like you always pounded into us, Mr. F, that was then, this is now, I am here, not there. This, right now, is where I go from here.

What a kensho.

As a note Will is doing great these 18 years later. He works with kids who have come from abusive homes, and is going to write a book, I hear.

Kwatz!

T

A Brief Enlightenment

I often used my Zen in working with the delinquents I served during their incarceration. There were some great moments, to wit:

Youth: "I am gonna kick his ass. I will fuck him up!"
Me: "Get a grip man. Your mom is coming to see you tomorrow. You don't want to be stuck with the group do you?"
Y: "What's that got to do with anything, man?  Ain't about shit!"
Me: "He's gone. You are right here, right now. That is what you gotta deal with."
Y; "He pissed me off!"
Me: "Why is a mouse when it spins?"
Y: "Huh?"
Me: "Why is a mouse when it spins?"
Y: "Man, that is some stupid shit!"
Me: "You got it!"
Y: "I do?"
Me: "Yep."
Y: That is some weird shit Mr. F. What time is my Mom coming tomorrow?"
Me: "Ten"
Y: "Cool. Just don't mention the spinning mouse shit when she comes to class, Ok?"
Me: "What mouse?"
Y: "Maaaaaaaaaaan...."

Life is made up of lttle victories

T